CHAKRUBS

Being part of a movement dedicated to empowering people identifying as women to feel comfortable and proud in their sensual bodies has inspired me to further my mission of bringing the concept of energy into our conversations around sex. It is not difficult to find articles, books, and workshops about how to achieve various types of orgasms, sex positions, and other kinks. This knowledge is valuable, but it is insufficient for a person who is also battling repressed shame, low self-esteem, unacknowledged trauma or any number of issues that could prevent one from being fully present in intimate moments. This knowledge is insufficient for those wanting to explore with a partner whose energy is “off,” or trying to have an experience in an environment that doesn’t feel quite sound. Sexual pleasure is a healing modality, and aligning energies is a way to make it more so.

It is necessary that we learn what immense pleasure our bodies are capable of, but it’s also important that we allow ourselves time to be open enough to experience that pleasure. That comes with dedicated self-examination and devotion to one’s own application of sexual energy in life. Pleasure for me is a dedicated practice I engage in to realign myself with my spiritual beliefs. Arousal has become an internal and intuitive reminder to remember these beliefs, so that I regularly practice what I believe.

For me, spirituality is the understanding that we are partaking in a journey as human beings for a short blip, and that the pleasure we create within these human bodies is a gateway for feeling grateful for experiencing this lifeform while we can. Looking at the self in this way lends itself to being appreciative of life on earth for carnal explorations; but it also allows for a sweet perspective on all that life has to offer—the vast array of emotion and experiences, whether they be joyful, sorrowful, or anywhere in between, become a celebration of having been given this life.

My sexual identity coincides with every other aspect of my identity. It is fluid, evolving, and shifts depending on the company I am with or the space I occupy. I have reached a place where I am no longer pressuring myself to experience all of the sex advice being shouted at me from every flashy magazine cover or blog. I have educated myself from trusted sources on what is possible, and I have developed my relationship to myself in a way where I know when I am ready. And when the energy moves me, pleasure will happen.

And so, this is my advice for how to be satisfied with your sex life: Discover what possibilities reside in your body to experience pleasure, and then identify what blockages are preventing you from experiencing that healing pleasure. You may choose to address those blockages in a variety of ways depending on what you are healing from and working through—the important thing is to be patient and give yourself time to open up to pleasure. Sexual activity then becomes a tool, a mystery that will unfold over time, and an ally to dissolve all that prevents you from fully experiencing all of life’s pleasures.

Vanessa Cuccia is regarded as a pioneer in the sex toy industry for introducing her methods of using crystals for sexual healing and empowerment. She is the founder and creator of Chakrubs, The Original Crystal Sex Toy Company. She recently authored her first book: Crystal Healing & Sacred Pleasure.